Go first

Leadership begins when you accept responsibility for giving people a direction. You put your judgement on the line, commit to a course and become answerable for what happens next.

That willingness belongs at the heart of the masculine ideal. A man should aspire to be someone others can look to when a situation needs courage and judgement. He thinks about what matters, makes a decision and backs himself to act. His strength becomes useful to the people around him.

Going first means putting your head above the parapet. You risk being challenged, being wrong and being seen to fail. There are things worth risking your comfort and reputation to achieve.

The alternative has a cost. A problem grows while everyone protects himself from blame. An opportunity passes while the people who wanted it wait for someone else to commit. Bring the same seriousness to the risk of doing nothing that you bring to the risk of making a decision.

A leader gives other people something to get behind. He puts forward a course, brings people into it and commits his own effort. Others begin contributing because there is now something to build. Taking the lead can turn a room full of frustrated individuals into people working towards a shared purpose.

Then your example has to earn their trust. Do the difficult work you ask of others. When the mistake is yours, own it before someone has to force it out of you. Stay involved when the result is disappointing and there is work to put right.

Practise this wherever people depend on you. Think ahead to the decision your family needs to make together, and begin the conversation. Give your team a proposal worth attempting. Say what you believe when keeping quiet would be easier. Each is an occasion to develop the man you intend to become.

People need men they can count on when a decision is difficult and the outcome is uncertain. Be one of them.